Oops

[frayadjacent]

I tried to argue to my coworkers at lunch today that one need not invoke a genetic cause of "homosexuality" (their word) in order for it to be morally OK. It's also morally fine if it is a choice! I'm pretty sure they think I'm a homophobe now.

(I suppose this would have been as good a time as any to come out at work, but given that I'm still somewhat dazed at having participated in a multi-minute conversation with my coworkers at all, it's not surprising I didn't.)

Comments

[frayadjacent]

As usual you say very smart and sensible things. And I totally agree about the superiority/magnanimity thing. It was very much there and I've seen it a lot before too. (Though I kinda doubt I was the only queer person in the conversation; I was definitely getting a vibe from one person in particular that this convo was *personal*.)

there was a strong temptation to say, "Well, I don't know what causes it, but it's not a choice," because that was so obviously the answer that would have the strongest and quickest effect on person-in-front-of-you.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense!

Part of the difficulty I had expressing myself was also that I was trying to acknowledge that plenty of people do feel that they were "born this way" -- and that that's fine, I don't get to decide who they are, they do. But that's a different thing from the moral argument, or the endless fascination with "what causes it?"