women courting

[frayadjacent]

Ever since last year when I read Gail Simone's Wonder Woman run, where Diana tries (and fails) to court a man, I've been craving more stories where a woman really actively pursues a romance (with any gender person). I think this is the root of why I so often fail at shipping: writers are so rarely interested in showing me that a lady character is even interested in the other person, much less actively courting them.

What I'd really love to see is Lady Character pursing the object of her affection awkwardly -- with inappropriate grand gestures, for example. (But not Awkwardly Not Pursuing said object a la early season Willow and Xander, I've got plenty of examples of that.) And I'd love examples where she succeeds and examples where she doesn't.

Where do I find this? I had secretly hoped The Mindy Project would do it, but alas it didn't, not really. I get it occasionally from books (Rowan courted Fletcher in The Outskirters Secret, for example).

Comments

[silverr]

I read a bit of the webcomic Sunstone a few years ago and it was the first thing that sprang to mind when I read your post. ~ I recall that at least the beginning of the relationship was on the sweetly awkward side.

I also wonder if any of the Sarah Waters books might satisfy? (I've got Fingersmith on my kindle but not yet read).

The relationship of Exoristos (lesbian Amazon) and Sir Ystin (transgender man) in Demon Knights was complex and awkward and lovely (and there's been some good fic written about it).

(I do think, hands down, my favorite "female courts male and wins him" is probably Jadzia Dax and Worf from DS9 (but them I adore all things Dax. *g*)... and though she's not really awkward, courting a Klingon male does require fairly grand gestures.

[frayadjacent]

Oooh, thanks for all these recs! And I've still never gotten around to watching DS9 but this might be exactly the push I need. From what I've heard of Jadzia Dax and what I know of Worf that sounds really good.

[silverr]

The Dax/Worf romance doesn't happen until... Season 6? I think? but imo Dax is a marvelous character (and overall DS9 is just so so good).

(And if you do watch it and want someone to squee with -- I am so here. I have been a Trek fan since the original series aired, and DS9 is far and away my favorite. ~ The pilot is a bit slow-moving to some, but it does get the job done.)

[silverr]

I also poked a bit at TV Tropes.

As expected, most of the "woman pursuing" tropes are skewed negative; the most positive one I found was Violently Protective Girlfriend.

(After further thought, I also think it's possible that this situation might be more prevalent when the pursuer is wealthy? -- and here I am thinking that Veronica Palmer from Better Off Ted is a good candidate acting this way.)

(And all this discussion is making me want to fic for this, because positive protrayals of Grand Gesture Wooing do seem to be sadly lacking.

[frayadjacent]

Yeah, I was thinking about the negative "woman pursuing" tropes, and how failed wooing could easily be written as "see she was too forward and unladylike, and she chased him away". At best, apparently. :(

You should totally fic it!

[silverr]

Oddly enough, though I can think of a number of RL m/f examples where the woman non-scarily yet boldly and successfully wooed a man, most of the fic I can think to write is f/f. (I suppose that means I need additional fandoms at some point. *g*)

[frayadjacent]

hahaha, me as well. Including well over half of my relationships with men. *eyeroll*

f/f fic is awesomesauce tho.

[silverr]

As I was falling asleep yesterday another possible came to mind: The Legend of Bold Riley

[frayadjacent]

ooh, thank you, this looks great!

[endeni]

/And I've still never gotten around to watching DS9 but this might be exactly the push I need./ - OMG, DS9 is the best! *g*

[alwaystheocean]

Just going to chime in with enthusiastic recs for Sarah Waters (Fingersmith, Tipping the Velvet, The Paying Guests would all work, I think) and Deep Space Nine! (More below if I think of them.)

[frayadjacent]

Thanks!